Month: November 2013

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I Fell In Love With A Boy

I fell in love with a boy….
He was a few years older than I was.  I hadn’t decided yet to enlist in the Air Force.  He was a blond farm boy from Indiana.  I met him in California where he drove his truck to, broke down, and moved in with a family who took him in when he was down on his luck.  He was so charming.  It was a good thing, too, because he didn’t have a job and was basically freeloading off the family he had the fortune of living with.  I enlisted in the Air Force and he “let me go”.

I fell in love with a boy…
He was a free spirit.  We had fun no matter what we were doing.  We even got a pet rat, skied Mt Bachelor in Oregon, and made a model airplane.  In the end, we just weren’t going in the same direction.

I fell in love with a boy…
He was such a jerk.  Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about it until I married him.  He never loved me.  He used to say, “You’re pretty, but you’re not beautiful.”  He was so verbally abusive that I started to feel trapped by my own inadequacies, although they were likely manufactured by this “boy”.  A few years after I left him, I started to breathe again.

I fell in love with a boy…
He was the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on.  I kissed him a million times.  He was a part of me in every way.  It was just the two of us for many years.  My world revolved around him.  I think so fondly of him even now, and I miss him like crazy.  He was my first experience of unconditional love.  He can drive me crazy, and he is bigger than me now, and more hairy, but I still love him.

I fell in love with a boy…
He is my best friend in the whole world.  He knows me.  He loves me anyway.  He also can drive me crazy, but we are still heading down this road together.  We are Yin and Yang, Frick and Frack, Bert and Ernie. 

I fell in love with a boy…
He is so accident prone.  He doesn’t know how to ride a bike yet.  He asks me about wind advisories and political parties.  He is so smart, but the least observant human being on the planet.  He gets to laughing so hard his eyes water and he can’t breathe and that makes me laugh. 

My life has been amazing so far, and in no small part to these boys I fell in love with.  Even the ones that broke apart for whatever reason shaped a part of who I am today and what I value.  For that, I am so thankful.

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What Difference Can .0000005% Really Make?

We have a new computer system at work.  It hasn’t been implemented yet, not until next month.  However, lots have already been cast, lines drawn in the sand, teams picked, war paint applied.  And you can take a guess who the project manager is for the implementation.  Yes, indeed…yours truly.

Any time I have a meeting about this system, 3 out of the 12 implementation team members attend.  I have been told I can “drink the Kool Aid” if I want to, accused of forcing a useless program down peoples’ throats, told the program is destined for failure (with even a monetary wager), and told point blank how much this program is hated by the masses.  Closed-mindedness can be so mean-spirited.  Although, I don’t take their angst personally.

Here are a few interesting factoids.  Back in Jesus’ day, the world population was about 228 million.  He began His ministry with 12 souls.  That would have been about .0000005% of the world population.  There are about 2.1 billion Jesus-believing people in the world today…about 33% of the world population, and 9 times more than the total population of the world in Jesus’ time.  But He started with 12.  Sure, Jesus’ mission and purpose is exponentially more significant than my workplace’s new computer system, but even the founder of Dell said about his efforts in his own company, “…while some resisted, many welcomed the chance to play a more prominent role in the entire process.”  The lesson I learned from this?  Don’t concern yourself with the naysayers and scrooges when you are trying to move forward with something you know will ultimately be a benefit to business and customer service.  Cleave to your compadres–those few who stand along side you and are doing their part to help things progress as they should.

Play it out in your mind.  What could happen?  Now, STOP IT!!!  Are you kidding??  Don’t play anything out in your mind!  Just press forward with your plan.  Exercise patience, humility, careful directing, and positive control. 

The Bottom Line:  If it is a venture that is truly worthwhile, people will become believers, even if they don’t start out that way.

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Does Perception Rule the Day?

Before I continue, take a look at these individuals.  Then ask yourself, which do you think are likely a success at their workplace?

 
There’s a perception out there that overweight people are less capable of having successful careers.  There are many factors that play into this widely adopted perception.  We all know what they are: lower self-esteem, less assertiveness, more anti-social behavior, more health issues that can reduce time at work, etc.  I liken it to the equally popular perception that individuals with a southern accent are not intelligent.  True or not, it is just what a lot of people think.
 
In the private sector, the struggle is simply the perception.  If you are overweight and can rise above the petty opinions of the small-minded masses, you can rule your own destiny.  And good on you, I say!  Because I care, I would urge these individuals to pursue a healthy lifestyle regardless of your weight.  I know there are people out there who like you a lot and want to see you stick around for a while.
 
In the military, there is a bit more to the perception.  There are fitness tests that must be passed in order to keep your job.  The perception is also if you don’t look like you could either bench press an ox or blow away with a strong wind, you are somehow of less value.  Your opinion has less weight; your skills become less utilized. 
 
I know what you’re thinking…I’m whining and complaining.  Perhaps.  But the reality of the situation is that I will not change this perception.  The reality is that in order to better myself, I must make a few conscious choices.  I must also acknowledge a few things.
 
First, the acknowledgement:  I am intelligent and bring value to the team.  I have skills to improve upon and will make a conscious effort to do so.  I am struggling with my weight and need to lose 20-30 pounds.
 
Now the choices:  I choose to make changes in my lifestyle to lose the weight.  However, I also choose to drop the chip on my shoulder about why I need to lose the weight.  I scored well on my last fitness test, but I do not look nor weigh the part of a fit individual.  This is what people see of me, unless I tattoo my fitness score on my forehead.  This is the chip on my shoulder I choose to shrug off.  I choose to believe that ultimately I will feel better about myself regardless of why I must lose the weight. 
 
I love serving in the military.  I am proud to put on the uniform every day.  And if I must cater to a perception that lean equals value, I can.  It is all about what I choose to do, say, and think.  Perception may rule the day, but the way I live my life is always my choice.