The other day, I attended the Monday executive leadership meeting at work, as I typically do. It was the same old “death by Power Point” with updates on ongoing projects, upcoming issues, and the fanfare of hails and farewells. The Chaplain had his short message about spirituality (white-washed to apply to every walk of life, of course), and at the conclusion of the meeting, the Boss had us watch a short YouTube video about leadership.
The speaker on the video stated that the job of leaders is to inspire, motivate, and encourage. I’m down with all that. Actually, the video had a great message about leadership. It mentioned something about emotional intelligence, fondly referred to as EQ. Following the video, the Boss provided a word salad, chock full of stuff about how important it is to have emotional intelligence and how we should really care about our people. Someone chimed in with the burned-out phrase, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Another person spoke of how he just completed a college course that emphasized how most employers value EQ over IQ.
As we concluded our time together that morning, the Boss made a statement about knowing how most of us are Type As, and we like to charge hard and are motivated to get things done. She cautioned that Type As need to practice more emotional intelligence and demonstrate to their followers how much they care.
When we were dismissed, I made my way back to my office with so many questions. “How does she define emotional intelligence?” “How did she come to the conclusion that most leaders are Type As?” “If it is so important to develop emotional intelligence, why are we merely paying lip service to the phrase instead of learning how to increase our EQ?”
The entire discussion left me feeling more misunderstood and underappreciated than ever. I will be the first to (quietly and humbly) tell you that Type As do not own exclusive rights to the leadership moniker. I would even go so far as to dare say that Type As are not the most inspiring, motivating, or encouraging leaders. Unfortunately, many Type As, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, sabotage the leadership efforts of non-Type As. Dear friends, I have so much more to say about this…much more to come…
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I looked up some information about emotional intelligence (EQ). I read there are 5 tenants of emotional intelligence (in no particular order): self-awareness, empathy, motivation, self-regulation, and social skills. To increase emotional intelligence, one must find a rare unicorn. This rare unicorn is an individual who is trustworthy, understands what value you bring to the workplace, and one who is willing to provide feedback to you on their assessment of your progress. I applaud you if you have someone in your life who meets these qualifications. You have the greatest opportunity to achieve the highest EQ possible.
I have yet to find my rare unicorn. Maybe I will before I retire. In the meantime, I’m available.