Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I think I’ve been doing alright.  I’ve been really busy with work and school.  I can’t believe I’m 40 years old.  I see the grey and the wear around my eyes, but I haven’t changed much on the inside.  I know it’s this human condition that we are all subjected to, but I just can’t get used to not having you around.  I wish I could talk to you.  You always helped me make sense out of chaos and confusion. 

In case you were wondering, the world is still a hot mess.  And in the midst of it all, I can still have a moment of utter silence and a soft breeze when I get to witness the splendor of God’s Glory in a colorful silken flower.  It’s as if nothing exists in the world except that moment and that flower and I am nowhere but in that bubble, not wanting to snap out of the trance.

Dear Dad, I wish I could share my experiences with you.  Those things I find unbearable or not particularly interesting would take on a whole different meaning if I could tell you about them…I know they would!  I guess you’re never ready to lose someone, but I thought I could be much more resilient.  I’m not terribly sentimental about things, but I can’t ignore the hole in my life that you left. 

I’m going to be okay.  That’s the truth.  I miss you so much, but I will see you again in the sweet by and by.