Category: Type B

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Rare Unicorns

The other day, I attended the Monday executive leadership meeting at work, as I typically do.  It was the same old “death by Power Point” with updates on ongoing projects, upcoming issues, and the fanfare of hails and farewells.  The Chaplain had his short message about spirituality (white-washed to apply to every walk of life, of course), and at the conclusion of the meeting, the Boss had us watch a short YouTube video about leadership.

The speaker on the video stated that the job of leaders is to inspire, motivate, and encourage.  I’m down with all that.  Actually, the video had a great message about leadership.  It mentioned something about emotional intelligence, fondly referred to as EQ.  Following the video, the Boss provided a word salad, chock full of stuff about how important it is to have emotional intelligence and how we should really care about our people.  Someone chimed in with the burned-out phrase, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Another person spoke of how he just completed a college course that emphasized how most employers value EQ over IQ. 

As we concluded our time together that morning, the Boss made a statement about knowing how most of us are Type As, and we like to charge hard and are motivated to get things done.  She cautioned that Type As need to practice more emotional intelligence and demonstrate to their followers how much they care.  

When we were dismissed, I made my way back to my office with so many questions.  “How does she define emotional intelligence?” “How did she come to the conclusion that most leaders are Type As?” “If it is so important to develop emotional intelligence, why are we merely paying lip service to the phrase instead of learning how to increase our EQ?” 

The entire discussion left me feeling more misunderstood and underappreciated than ever.  I will be the first to (quietly and humbly) tell you that Type As do not own exclusive rights to the leadership moniker.  I would even go so far as to dare say that Type As are not the most inspiring, motivating, or encouraging leaders.  Unfortunately, many Type As, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, sabotage the leadership efforts of non-Type As. Dear friends, I have so much more to say about this…much more to come…  

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I looked up some information about emotional intelligence (EQ). I read there are 5 tenants of emotional intelligence (in no particular order): self-awareness, empathy, motivation, self-regulation, and social skills.  To increase emotional intelligence, one must find a rare unicorn. This rare unicorn is an individual who is trustworthy, understands what value you bring to the workplace, and one who is willing to provide feedback to you on their assessment of your progress. I applaud you if you have someone in your life who meets these qualifications. You have the greatest opportunity to achieve the highest EQ possible.

I have yet to find my rare unicorn. Maybe I will before I retire. In the meantime, I’m available.

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Called to Be YOU!

You are who you were made to be! All of your idiosyncrasies and qwerks make you exactly and uniquely you. The more quickly you embrace those things about you, the more quickly you can get to part two of your personal development.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, it is time to accept that although you are indeed uniquely you, don’t hide behind it as if everyone should “just deal with it.” That is an antisocial, selfish, and inconsiderate way of interacting with others.

Instead, use your talents and abilities for good. Where can you “plug in”? What about you can enhance the world around you? How can you take what you are made of to make amazing things happen? How can you partner with others and combine your abilities?

It doesn’t matter what you like, dislike, prefer, can’t stand, or can’t live without…you have value, and you are who you were made to be. Please embrace it and share it with others to make your corner of the world so great.

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Why Do Cars Have Headlights?

Have you ever asked the question, “why do cars have headlights?”  Of course you haven’t, because the answer is intuitive.  But take a moment to ponder that question now.

There are really two basic answers, and they both have to do with FOCUS.

1. A car has headlights to allow you to see where you are driving in the dark.  Just because it is dark out does not mean you can’t navigate the twists and turns of a road or avoid obstacles.  Headlights enable you to focus on where you are going.

2. Headlights on other cars enable you to see other people on the road and avoid their becoming an obstacle for you.  Have you ever driven in the fog?  I have, and being able to follow behind someone with their lights on gave me a comforting feeling, like this stranger suddenly became my best friend, and we were in it together!

FOCUS in our lives rarely comes naturally to us…squirrel!  Trust me, I get it.  The most gifted procrastinators (certain that I am one) must work very hard to gain and maintain focus.  Think about this: How many times have you had to “start over” with something you have been working on (like weight loss, writing a paper, telling a story, working a project)?  How many times have you experienced success in the past by maintaining focus on your goal to achieve it?  Okay…now set all that aside!  No, seriously!  You have to stop looking back at past failures AND successes. Focus on the present.  Concentrate your attention on the road ahead.  Now.  What road are you on and where are you going?  It doesn’t matter how bright your headlights are if you are driving down the road looking out the back window!!

So buckle up, eyes front, and headlights on!

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I Love You…Now Go Away

This morning, a coworker poked their head into my office about three minutes after I had walked in, turned my light on, and put my hat up on the shelf, and shrugged off my backpack.  He cheerfully announced, “Good morning to you!” Ugh.  I cannot politely explain what immediately went through my mind.  Suffice it to say, there were unpleasant words and a borderline violent response locked away up inside my brain.  The turmoil flowing through my incarcerated mind reached a toxic danger level when my facial expression prompted the “case of the Mondays” comment.

I am spoiled to have a short commute to work, or some may think.  It is about 10 to 15 minutes.  However, it is barely enough time to get ready for the onslaught of cheer when I walk in the office. It’s not that I am not a morning person.  It’s not that I am anti-social.  And honestly, I think people who are around me all day would consider me to be generally quite pleasant.  I am an introvert.  I recharge in those coveted moments of solitude. 

This world is run by extroverts.  They step out in front, steeling their wool by engaging in social interactions.  Their batteries are hooked up to an alternator.  The more they exert energy in social settings, the more energized they become.  This is why they run the world…renewable energy. 

The world is managed by introverts.  We clear the paths for the extroverts and tidy up afterward.  We ensure the foundations are solid and the sound system works.  We gently influence the conversation with our subtle, yet confident and compassionate input. After doing our part, we require solitude to recharge and prepare for the next big thing.

In spite of my response to by bubbly coworker, I am not a hateful troll.  I am simply one who draws strength from the quiet, uninterrupted moments where I find clarity, focus, and can plan greatness for my extrovert friends to run with.

Next month, I will be driving a few hundred miles to attend training.  Armed with my GPS, pillow from home, and satellite radio, I am looking forward to those hours of recharging…and the epic concert that I have an exclusive on-stage pass to in my vehicle.