Month: March 2020

Posted on

We Are All On The Same Team

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

As a military officer, I lead a group of people and other officers (my colleagues) lead other groups of people. We all belong to a larger group and this cycle repeats until you trace our collective all the way up to the President of the United States. Every single one of us must find a way to determine our place in this collective and move the mission forward…because we are all on the same team.
There is likely to be nothing in my lifetime that will prove our “one team, one fight” more than COVID19. As entire families are isolating at home, many of my coworkers and I are still going to work, making sure people can be tested and those who are tested are tracked. Everyone, no matter what their personality type or feelings about each other, has gotten down to business and focused solely on taking care of our patients. And something unexpected has happened as a result…
Our team has become more energized, happier, and morale and spirits are actually higher. I’ve seen crises bring people together, but this is different. What is happening to people is transforming my team. The irony of this is how we have to practice “social distancing”, and it is bringing us closer together in ways we needed all along. When you can’t rely on the typical customs and courtesies of handshakes, fist bumps, and high fives, you strangely begin to lean on the unprecedented alternative of asking each other, “how are you doing?” And not casually in passing, like we used to just a few months ago. You ask, and you really listen. And people really tell you. We are connecting for the first time on a level that humanity should always be connecting.
You know someone, nearby or far away…what does that matter now? Call, text, FaceTime, them, and ask them how they’re doing. And then listen. And connect. It’s the way we can all take this tragic time and restore the human team.

Posted on

Feedback

I had my midterm feedback today. The boss said I am terrible at communication. He didn’t really say it like that, but that is what I heard. That is the message that is reverberating in my brain, eating away at my self-esteem. Never mind all of the compliments on my stellar work…he said I was a horrible communicator…who stumbles over my words and looks like I don’t know what I’m talking about. What a total loser! He hopes I am selected for promotion because I deserve to be a Major and he said I am the only flight commander who truly engages with their team and has great team morale…horrible communicator!!

Whew! That was exhausting! But we B types tend to do this on a regular basis, in one form or another, don’t we? We refuse to acknowledge our strengths or give ourselves credit for our accomplishments and distort our weaknesses to crippling proportions. What the boss actually told me about my communication skills is “continue working on brevity when speaking” and “concentrate on fine-tuning your communication skills”. This is an entirely realistic and manageable task when you look at it through a sober lens.

I want to encourage you that when you receive feedback that is less than savory, take the time you need to react to it, and then take action. Reaction is a natural thing. Allow yourself to feel some kind of way about it…but not for too long! Next, take action! Do NOT confuse this with “response”. Response is not action. It is more inaction, more excuses, more reaction. Action is taking the feedback constructively and applying your type B personality magic to it and generating an outcome that not only addresses the concern but exceeds everyone’s imagination of how you could possibly improve things. The greatest part of it all is how little effort it takes a type B leader to do this.

But, I know. Even after all of this, when the glitter settles and the confetti is all swept up, you still won’t feel worthy of congratulating yourself. I have learned a lot of things over the years as a type B leader, but I can’t help you with self-appreciation. We will have to figure that one out together.