Yes, I Have Westies! ❤️
What Do You Want Your Kids to Be Like When They Grow Up?
What do you want your kids to be like when they grow up? Do you have visions of greatness dancing in your head, do you simply want them to be a “decent human being”, or do you want something in between?
When your kids are first born, the sky is the limit. The canvas is freshly primered…blank and ready for a work of art to begin to take shape. As they age, the image of their life begins to come into focus. Most parents think (at least for the first decade or so) that they are the ones holding the paintbrush. Those who think they are holding the paintbrush beyond the first 10 years, perhaps well into their child’s 20s, are often disappointed when the picture does not look like what they envisioned for their own “take two” attempt on life…aka “I-need-this-human-to-not-make-the-mistakes-I-made-and-accomplish-all-of-the-things-I-failed-to-do-in-my-life”.
The fact of the matter is at NO point is a parent holding the paintbrush! God Almighty is the ultimate craftsman and artisan. He “knit us together in our mother’s womb”, painted the sky and bedazzled it with stars, and stuffed us with the capacity to love and with free will. So, as parents, we can want great things for our children, but it is not really in our control what that painting on their canvas looks like.
I kind of laugh when I consider the phrase “decent human being”, because it is such an unqualified term. For most of modern society, it has come to define a person who does not perform criminal acts. Some may also add the performance of a few kind acts, like smiling a lot, holding doors, saying “please” and “thank you”, and the occasional charitable donation…all things that are external and visible to others. Never mind a person’s insecurities, struggles with emotions and unforgiveness, secret thoughts of hatred toward another human, or closet obsessions and bad habits…the things that if people knew about, they might not think of someone as a “decent human being”.
That’s not to say that parents don’t have a key role in providing an environment of love and nurturing and demonstrating to their children through their example how to treat others and manage the challenges that come their way.
But sometimes, in spite of everything parents think they are doing right, their children fall short of what they envisioned. Sometimes their children decide to forge an emotional path that takes them far away from their parents. This is when parents must lean on God’s promise that if they raise their children up in the way of the Lord, “when they are old, they will not depart from it.”
We were having a family discussion this evening that stemmed from a bad habit my children have developed in being overly critical of each other and saying hateful things to each other. I expressed to them that our responsibility as parents is to set an example of how to treat each other and provide an environment in our family to communicate clearly so that we can work to resolve the real issues…not deflect or build up walls. I’m not the most sensitive, nurturing parent on the planet, but I do love my kids and want what’s best for them. I want to set them up for success, knowing it is up to them to determine their version of success and whether they achieve it.
I just hope they all understand what we are trying to do for them while we have them with us.
The Next Chapter Begins Tomorrow
Strength and Motivation
Focus On The Good
There’s plenty of not-so-good things to get our attention in the world today. There are endless concerns we have as parents, spouses, adults, employees, Americans, and human beings. My latest concern is the complete brain fog I have been lost in during my seemingly endless terminal leave. I never know what day it is. I have zero motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I can’t even think of anything terribly interesting to do to fill up my day, so the day just drags on and on and on until suddenly it is dinnertime, and I finally think of something to do. I then decide to save it for the next day because I don’t have any time left in the current day, but never actually get around to it the next day…sigh…
You may just want to slap me upside my head because your life is so far on the other end of the spectrum that you don’t know what day it is because life is chewing you up and spitting you out so fast that you don’t have time to catch your breath. I know it is not much consolation, but I have lived most of my life in that state of being, so don’t think I can’t empathize with you! The fact of the matter is that whether life is running us over or going so slowly that we can’t figure out how to live it out, we all need to break-break and take a step back to focus on the good.
So, what is the good? I have a friend who would easily tell you that his good is his grand babies (isn’t that right, Fred?) My son and his wife are about to have a baby, and that’s good! My husband and I went for a drive yesterday to look at some property for sale, and there were so many fields lined with sunflowers! 🌻 Good stuff!
Although I am a type B personality, I am not a type of person who always sees the good. I get just as bogged down with the bad and the negative and the tragic as anyone else. I can also be a crabby Negative Nancy, going around raining on everyone’s parade when they are trying to focus on what little good they can find. It can take a great deal of effort to remain positive in the midst of so many negative forces and circumstances imposing themselves on our lives.
My favorite things to focus on are things that keep me busy creating things. I guess this is why I love purchasing notebooks and pens and craft supplies and things at Lowe’s. But I don’t have to turn a blind eye to every “ungood” thing. Major League Baseball actually just started up for an abbreviated season. I don’t even know if you can call it a season. 👎 There will be no one in the stands (although they will be playing the noise of fans cheering as if they are!). There will be no high fives or locker room interviews or fans catching home run balls. There will be no pilgrimages to the Home Run Derby or the World Series…no celebrities singing the National Anthem or throwing out the first pitch. But games are being played. <—good stuff 👍
For me, my main focus stems from my faith in God. My faith, which is the evidence of the things I hope for, provides me the foundation of the good I know will keep my footing solid, even when I can’t remember what day it is. Right now, our country is acting like it can’t remember where it came from and doesn’t know where it is going. Right now, some people think it is petty to wear a mask and some people think it is a life-saving measure. Right now, I have just spent 8 hours typing a blog that should have taken me only 30 minutes because my normal humor and charm feels like it needed to be filtered to ensure I didn’t offend anyone. I just double checked, and it is Friday, so as I head into the weekend, I will focus on the opportunity to work on some small projects I will force myself to be motivated to complete so that I can feel accomplished by Monday, and that would be GOOD STUFF!