Category: Personal

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Time for a Cool Change

I had a scare last week.  I was ambulanced to the hospital with chest pressure and sky-rocketed blood pressure.  It was a bit of a wake up call.

I have often wondered, usually while watching Biggest Loser, ‘why is it exactly that people wait until it is a life or death situation before they finally start thinking about doing something about their weight??’  I think I figured it out today.

It’s like this: My body is kind of like my military dress shoes.  They are super shiny on the upper.  The laces are in excellent shape…have never let me down.  I have solid footing on them and they serve their purpose of covering my feet and getting me around.  But, as you can see by the picture, the sole is completely cracked in half.  When I stand or walk around, no one notices…not even me.  I am not in a hurry to replace them.  But some day soon, I’m going to step in a puddle and get soaked or the shoes will completely break in two at that crack.  They will then become useless and I will have no choice but to replace them.  At that point, it won’t matter the cost or the inconvenience.  At that point, it is more inconvenient to not get a new pair. 

The difference is that my body cannot be replaced by a new one I purchase when I wear this one out or it breaks down.  I’m pretty sure the vast majority of health issues that I have encountered in recent months has everything to do with my weight.  I was also told at the hospital that although my issue was not related to my ticker, I do have a fatty liver.  It is a condition, if left unchecked, can kill.  So how do I deal with this?  I have a few options.  I could choose to ignore this warning, as I have done with every warning up to this point and just wait to read my obituary in the paper one day.  I could insist to my doctor that I get put on a pharmacy full of meds to “manage”.  Or, I could take the most difficult road to recovery…the one that has the most satisfying payoffs, like an extended life and feeling pretty good about myself inside and out…I could exercise and eat better and lose weight. 

Let’s not fool ourselves.  Motivating oneself to lose weight is just as difficult as motivating someone else to do it.  It is possibly even more difficult, at least I believe this to be true for me.  What is will power?  No, seriously, what is it?  It is a force of proportions that both intrigue and terrify me.  It terrifies me because the only thing that can really motivate people to better themselves physically is vanity.  Those of you who are successful in having a noteworthy physique cannot argue against that.  Unfortunately, those who lack the motivation cannot be labeled as “humble”, but rather lacking a healthy sense of self-worth.  I want to be able to get my results right now and do the work later.  I want there to be an option D…maybe just getting credit for the million times I have said, “I really need to lose weight!” 

I’m getting older and I’m feeling age wearing me out.  But, I will look at some positives: I have a lot of things going for me, and I can recover from this setback.  The main reason that I know this is because I have value to a Friend who sticks closer than a brother.  I have value to my Heavenly Father.  I have value to the Great Physician.  I have value to the One who will never leave me nor forsake me.  And the best thing of all is that I’m really not alone in this.  Thank God, I don’t have to rely on my own ability to motivate myself.

We will see what the next few months bring about.  It is time for several cool changes in my life. I am hopeful for every one of them.  I’m starting with a new pair of low quarters.

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Don’t Chicken Little It!

Here lately at work I have been under a lot of stress, particularly as it pertains to the “herding of cats”, as I like to call it.  You know these colleagues…the Complainers, the Lazy, the Alphas, the Divas, and the Brats…they all want to go off in a different direction, none of which is the way you envision the path to success. 

I am a healthcare administrator (by choice, I might add).  I know that I could never care for patients directly…don’t have the stomach for it.  But I can work the business side of the house with the very same vision of optimizing patient care as clinical staff.  I view it as my contribution to the care and well-being of patients seen within our walls.

Lately, there have been many decisions made or discussed without my involvement (of course, I am speaking of times where I really should have been involved, not just every decision).  I have been tempted, when at my wit’s end, to finally just give in to the stress, anger, and frustration and just freak out.  I have a very beloved coworker who told me today that I shouldn’t “Chicken Little it”.  This phrase instantly spoke to me.  When I am dealing with issues, no matter how sketchy things get, the sky is not falling.  If something catastrophic were to happen to a patient, that would be different.  But in the day-to-day operations of the clinic, the sky is never falling. 

This past week has taught me something else.  Get organized.  There are lots of moving parts and the only hope of keeping sanity is to keep track of everything.  I got myself a Franklin Planner and I’m so much better prepared now.  It may take some time to do the initial “inventory”, but the investment is worth all the time you will free up later.  I’m not in constant panic mode and I get so much done!

It’s my new mantra: Don’t Chicken Little It. 

www.franklinplanner.com

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Appreciating the Less Finer Things

There is an art to appreciating the less finer things in life.  I don’t think I’m there quite yet, but I am trying to learn to appreciate the hardship, the disappointment, and the loss.  Appreciating these less popular companions does not mean I have to embrace or favor them.  It means I see them for what they are and what they may teach me. 

I have had numerous internal conflicts since I have been here in Turkey.  I have experienced some health issues I had never had to deal with before.  I have been learning and growing as an officer and it has been incredibly painful at times.  I have only two doctorate level classes under my belt, and I have already devoted 240 hours of my life to the pursuit of that degree.  We are facing a drawdown of the military population and that has been stressful for everyone.  My internal conflicts have a lot to do with trying to keep my feelings of self-worth grounded in reality while I constantly feel under the gun, behind the eight ball, and barely above water. 

I keep spinning the plates.  There is something mesmerizing and exhilarating about spinning plates.  I sometimes get more mesmerized than exhilarated and space out too long and one of the plates hits the unforgiving concrete floor.  I’m trying to learn to appreciate that moment and what happens afterward.  I’m definitely not perfect…never will be and never claimed to be.  And yet, I have wired myself to think perfection is what is expected of me and anything less is epic failure.  It is because of this that I have decided to rewire myself.  I have an electronics degree…I can do this!

This “system upgrade” started with the realization I was never going to live up to any standards, real or imagined, that involved perfection.  Then, I had to get comfortable with the fact that my best, which I give every day, is pretty dang good.  Now I am working on holding myself to realistic standards.  (There are few more complex combinations of things in nature than an intelligent, emotional human!)

Hardship, disappointment, and loss will always visit me from time to time.  Sometimes they will move in and stay with me for a season.  But everything has a season.  Everything has a purpose.  I will draw strength from that as I continue trying to appreciate those less finer things in life.

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Do You Even Own an Iron?!

I am in the US military.  Although I am not completely “ate up” about my uniform, I pride myself in being “clean, dry, and serviceable”.  I press it to keep the collar tamed and the pocket corners from curling up.  But I wonder about some of my colleagues.  Do they even own an iron?  Or a mirror, for that matter? 
An iron…a simple contraption, but it sure packs a punch!  Everyone who has ever wielded one has been “bitten” by its hot temper at least once.  The concept is very basic, yet very successful: the application of heat and pressure flattens surfaces and sharpens edges.  This is not a very precise equation, but both components, heat and pressure, are required in some form or fashion.
If the iron is not hot enough, it is completely ineffective.  You might as well be sliding a book or a block of iron ore across the fabric.  If the iron is not weighty enough, or not enough pressure is applied to the fabric, the heat will just wrinkle the fabric and actually make it worse.
As we have all felt the sting of a hot iron on our skin, we know that applying an iron to an unintended surface can cause damage…sometimes serious damage.  Have you ever tried to iron silk with an iron on high and ended up melting it on to the iron?  Yeah, that’s a bad day. 
Think about the people you work with, your children, yourself…
It takes the right combination of heat and pressure to be adequately effective…not overdone or underdone…but just right.  You must know the “material” you are working with to know the right amount of heat and pressure.
I hope that everyone owns an iron and takes the time to learn how to apply it properly.

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Appreciating People’s Strengths and Weaknesses??

I read a statement recently that said that we should learn to appreciate people’s strengths AND weaknesses.  I spent a lot of time thinking about that one.  Appreciating strengths, sure, no problem!  What do people bring to the table?  What positive things do people have to contribute to the team?  When the chips are down, what quality does an individual have that enables them to rise up from the ashes and keep moving forward? 

We view strengths as assets…positive things.  They are the best of what anyone has to pitch in to the survival soup to keep us healthy.  They are desirable traits that draw others to the individuals who possess them.  I have evolved during the course of my adult life to learn to find these positive traits in others…sometimes in an effort to improve my tolerance of some individuals since I can see strengths as “redeeming qualities”.  (You know the type of people I am referring to!)  I am 40 years old, and I honestly did not believe I could read a statement that would throw me on my ear quite like this one did.  I can’t put a big enough question mark on this inquiry:  How in the world do you appreciate someone’s weaknesses??

I think I worked my way back in this discovery chain far enough to ask myself, “what are MY weaknesses?”  I am confident enough in my strengths that I will tell you my top 3.  1. Although I don’t like drama, I often wear my heart on my sleeve and react emotionally, and that emotion, usually anger, causes me to say or do things I regret later.  2. I have moderate OCD…I will ask others to help out and do something but if they don’t jump on it within seconds of my request, I have to do it myself…I can’t stand clutter or trash and I throw things away almost immediately.  Kind of the opposite of a hoarder.  3. I struggle with my weight and the psychological damage of never living up to my own standards.

Okay, now that’s out there, what could anyone possibly appreciate about that? 

I’m a big picture person.  I deal with the details, knowing they are essential to the big picture, but I don’t really like them.  What’s the big picture here?  Don’t just consider appreciating strengths and then move over to appreciate weaknesses.  The lesson here is that people are a sum total of their strengths and weaknesses.  These traits often bleed into each other and can sometimes even take on each other’s form in different situations.  That’s the point.  I think the idea is to appreciate the whole person, warts and all. 

There’s a movie called “Fred 3: Camp Fred”.  A teenage boy goes to Camp Iwannapeepee and everyone there is a social outcast, the camp is sub-standard, and it looks like they have no chance of winning the camp competition with Camp Superior.  Instead of claiming defeat, Fred comes up with this concept, “We’re the best at being the worst!”  They go on to demonstrate that they actually have some talents that the kids at Camp Superior lack and end up winning the camp competition.  In the end, Fred still tells his mom that it was the worst camp ever, but he had fun.  Note: I wouldn’t recommend watching it…and if I didn’t tell you this, you would really be mad at me if you did actually attempt to watch it! (Fair warning!)

The movie outline to say this: we can all learn to appreciate weaknesses by understanding that they are a part of each of us, just like the strengths.  The weaknesses that you appreciate are interwoven with the strengths that represent those “redeeming qualities” that keep an individual palatable.