I read a statement recently that said that we should learn to appreciate people’s strengths AND weaknesses. I spent a lot of time thinking about that one. Appreciating strengths, sure, no problem! What do people bring to the table? What positive things do people have to contribute to the team? When the chips are down, what quality does an individual have that enables them to rise up from the ashes and keep moving forward?
We view strengths as assets…positive things. They are the best of what anyone has to pitch in to the survival soup to keep us healthy. They are desirable traits that draw others to the individuals who possess them. I have evolved during the course of my adult life to learn to find these positive traits in others…sometimes in an effort to improve my tolerance of some individuals since I can see strengths as “redeeming qualities”. (You know the type of people I am referring to!) I am 40 years old, and I honestly did not believe I could read a statement that would throw me on my ear quite like this one did. I can’t put a big enough question mark on this inquiry: How in the world do you appreciate someone’s weaknesses??
I think I worked my way back in this discovery chain far enough to ask myself, “what are MY weaknesses?” I am confident enough in my strengths that I will tell you my top 3. 1. Although I don’t like drama, I often wear my heart on my sleeve and react emotionally, and that emotion, usually anger, causes me to say or do things I regret later. 2. I have moderate OCD…I will ask others to help out and do something but if they don’t jump on it within seconds of my request, I have to do it myself…I can’t stand clutter or trash and I throw things away almost immediately. Kind of the opposite of a hoarder. 3. I struggle with my weight and the psychological damage of never living up to my own standards.
Okay, now that’s out there, what could anyone possibly appreciate about that?
I’m a big picture person. I deal with the details, knowing they are essential to the big picture, but I don’t really like them. What’s the big picture here? Don’t just consider appreciating strengths and then move over to appreciate weaknesses. The lesson here is that people are a sum total of their strengths and weaknesses. These traits often bleed into each other and can sometimes even take on each other’s form in different situations. That’s the point. I think the idea is to appreciate the whole person, warts and all.
There’s a movie called “Fred 3: Camp Fred”. A teenage boy goes to Camp Iwannapeepee and everyone there is a social outcast, the camp is sub-standard, and it looks like they have no chance of winning the camp competition with Camp Superior. Instead of claiming defeat, Fred comes up with this concept, “We’re the best at being the worst!” They go on to demonstrate that they actually have some talents that the kids at Camp Superior lack and end up winning the camp competition. In the end, Fred still tells his mom that it was the worst camp ever, but he had fun. Note: I wouldn’t recommend watching it…and if I didn’t tell you this, you would really be mad at me if you did actually attempt to watch it! (Fair warning!)
The movie outline to say this: we can all learn to appreciate weaknesses by understanding that they are a part of each of us, just like the strengths. The weaknesses that you appreciate are interwoven with the strengths that represent those “redeeming qualities” that keep an individual palatable.
