There are primarily two schools of thought when it comes to people who set terrible examples of how to behave. There’s the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” philosophy and there’s the “I don’t want to be anything like those bad examples” philosophy.
The “no-beat-’em-join-’em’s” gave up at some point. Maybe they started out trying to go against the flow and lost momentum. Maybe they never had any fight in them to begin with. They resolve themselves to being victims of every situation they ever find themselves in. As such, they assign zero responsibility to themselves for any adverse outcome. They are emotional vampires…a hot spear to every life raft that floats their way. They groan in their helplessness and despair, yet do not truly want help. Their circumstances are Mt Everests, and they are desperately clinging to life on the cold rock face with no protective gear.
The “flow-fighters” can be victims as well, make no mistake about that. But, however painful it may be, they will assume at least some of the responsibility for their condition. This is absolutely vital to making their way through things instead of just letting life’s downturns slowly drown them, one wave at a time. Flow-fighters can sometimes head into circumstances ill-prepared, much like the no-beat-’em-join-’em’s, but as soon as they recognize their lack of resources, they will reach out to those who can help. The flow-fighters understand there is no shame in asking for help and no shame in actually taking advantage of the help provided. Their circumstances are viewed as a section of road on a long highway.
Big or small, we have all been through some amazingly tough circumstances…maybe still. Some might say that resolving oneself to playing the victim would be the easier route to take. I passionately disagree. Practice humility in your circumstances. Take the opportunity to learn something. Take the opportunity to grow…in your faith…in your understanding of humanity…in what you can actually endure…in your capacity to take your circumstances to help others with theirs. Some might read this who know me and laugh, thinking that I often fall painfully short of the flow-fighter ideal. Yes, I do, quite often. Nevertheless, it is the template of behavior I strive to emulate, and that is the best any of us can hope to accomplish.
