Author: Sanya Bird

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In a World Where Everyone is Like Me

All of those personality tests tell me what I already knew…I thrive with order in my world; time with others must be significantly less than time to myself; I am not a fan of confrontation; I think practically and avoid making emotionally-based decisions like the plague; planning is an anchor in my life both professionally and personally.  I am studious (no, really?).  If I am not learning something, I am obviously wasting my free time.  Then, there’s the real vices: I have a little superiority complex and can come across as arrogant to others…I really have no patience when it comes to situations where things are not in order and/or disorganized.  I know God has a sense of humor, because He has blessed me with a family that sometimes makes it their mission to ensure I practice patience when things are chaos.

“They” say, “It takes all kinds.”  However, if the world were filled with people just like me, this is what I envision would be the result:

–Bookstores (particularly Bible bookstores) would be the largest, most successful industry on the planet, followed by Amazon, Starbucks and the Apple store.

–There would be no need for speed limits because no one would drive anywhere close to a dangerous speed.

–All locations boasting hot, humid summers would be completely uninhabited…we’re talking like the Rapture came and took every last person away.

–Horror movies…what are those?  They would not exist.

–There would never be work-sponsored Christmas parties with any kind of theme where women had to wear gowns unless they really wanted to…and there would be many more ugly sweater-themed parties.

–No beer…only wine.

–High heels would not exist.  They shouldn’t exist now…what pointless forms of foot cover!

–The only fighting in the world would be when they cancel really good shows on TV.

–The work day would start no earlier than 8am. 

–Everyone would move every couple 2-5 years.  It lends itself to adventure, variety, culture, and a departure from monotony and stagnation.

I suppose it really does take all kinds, because even if you can tolerate me and how I am, it’s not a life that everyone would embrace as their own!  Besides, I like you just how you are.

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I Ended Up Doing It a Better Way

And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain. 

I have been in Turkey for two years now.  This has been an experience I could neither compare to anything else I have ever experienced, nor amply describe to anyone who has never been here.  Even those who have come before (and those who will come after) will have a different experience to draw from.  My experience is unique in location and time.

I can tell you of all the things I look forward to in returning to the states in a few weeks…mostly those first world luxuries that everyone in the U.S. take for granted.  But I will miss many things here.  Primarily, I will miss the people I work with, both Turkish and American.  My colleagues have truly been my family here.  I have appreciated every second of support and encouragement they have all offered. 

It is no secret that my first year here was a nail-biter.  I came here already burned out and struggled with finding my way right out of the gate.  It is also no secret that the recovery road was long.  Everyone who was here then is gone now, and you would be hard-pressed to find anyone here now who would believe it was that bad.  Thank the Lord for healing my mind.

Although I am no longer as emotional as I used to be, I still care very deeply for my coworkers, the military medical mission, and I am very passionate about my contribution.  My hope for the future is that I will not get complacent while in the U.S. and that I will continue to build on what my experience here in Turkey has taught me.  When my husband and I were talking about going overseas, we both said, “anywhere but Turkey!”  But God knew what He was doing to bring me here, and I wouldn’t change having this assignment for anything!

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Process Improvement-I Have A Dream

It isn’t as world-altering as the Reverend Martin Luther King’s, but I do have a dream.  My dream is to make a good kind of impact on our country and the military.  My dream more specifically involves VA hospitals and clinics. 

People can say (and do actually say), “There is no way to fix the VA.  You can’t possibly think that you would ever even be in a position to make that happen, much less be successful with it!”  The barrage of such comments have caused me a moment of pause and reflection to ascertain whether my dream is perhaps too lofty and ultimately unrealistic and unachievable…but only a moment.  Who created the Department of Veterans Affairs?  People did.  Who runs it?  People do.  Who can improve things?  People can.  My dream is not too lofty or unrealistic, and people make it achievable. 

I have struggled in my mind, partially due to the naysayers (I’ll admit it), how and where would I even begin?  In the world of electronics, where I lived for many years, when I wanted to fix something that was broken, I would troubleshoot.  The same questions that I asked are applicable to the VA:

-What is it supposed to do?
-What is it doing (or not doing) right now?
-Am I missing anything to make it work properly?
-If I need a part, what is it and where is the best place to get it from?
-Is the problem software or hardware related?
-Do I need to involve other qualified/certified/licensed people to help me fix it?
-Do the users need training on how to use it?

It sounds quite silly, but I literally had something come to me in a dream, like a vision.  In my dream, I was at work, in a quarry about how to know where to begin fixing a process at work and how to figure out what exactly needed fixing.  (How silly is it that I was dreaming about work process improvements??  Well, if you knew me, it wouldn’t seem so far-fetched!)  An individual I did not recognize walked up to me and said, “What happens to things if you do not change them?”  I said, “Well, they stay the way they are.”  The individual then said, “Exactly.  So, when you consider each thing, keeping it the way it is, and you feel calm and don’t feel concerned or panicked, don’t change it and move on to considering the next thing.”  I’m telling you, that is genius. 

Am I going to fix the VA?  I don’t know.  Am I going to try?  Yes.  After all, it is my dream.

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Suck it Up, Buttercup!

The stigma of psychology….stigma, shmigma.  Would you tell someone who finds a lump in their breast that they shouldn’t go to the doctor to get it checked out because they aren’t knocking on death’s door?  Of course not!  Then why would there be a stigma to seeking out a psychologist to learn some ways to manage stress before you feel your life is out of control? 

I hit my burnout breaking point two years ago.  I reached a point where I could not manage any stressful situation in my life.  I was also compounding the stress by creating some of it myself.  I had become paranoid, thinking everyone was out to get me, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t arrive at any solutions to issues I encountered, and began unwittingly sabotaging my own career, health, and relationships.  I had just arrived at my new assignment and within two weeks, succumbed to a major mental meltdown. 

I work at a medical facility, and spend my days among some of the most compassionate and caring people I have ever known.  I began going to Mental Health to gain some practical knowledge on how to get my brain to a healthier state.  It’s like your body.  You aren’t going to even be able to walk to the doorway, much less run around the block with broken legs. 

I learned about how important sleep is and how I can train myself to get to sleep and sleep longer.  I learned about HOW to think about things…there are angles that you should never look at things from.  I learned about breathing.  You would think that people should know how to breathe…I mean, we are all still alive, so we must know how to breathe.  Try this: Close your eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths.  Don’t tell me that didn’t feel good!  I learned about having a mantra.  When things seem to be getting to be too much and I want to fall back in to my old ways of panic and paranoia, my mantra is “It’s going to be okay.”  That, and some deep breathing, and I’m back.

I now recognize burnout in others, like they are wearing a flashing red sign around their neck.  I see their behavior and am utterly baffled that I spent years of my life dealing with things the way they do.  I have softly suggested they visit Mental Health, if for nothing more than to grab some of their literature.  I often get told, “I just don’t want people knowing that I am going to Mental Health.  People will think I’m ‘unstable’.”  Seriously?  People pretty much know you are unstable…they work with you every day and can see you are seconds away from knocking your computer off your desk, screaming and running out!

So, suck it up, Buttercup!  Get the help you need that is readily available to you.  I did…I do…and it has made all the difference.

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Happy Valentines Day from the Worst Wife Ever

I have been married for 11 years, and I just realized something the other day.  Two days ago was the first time I have ever really prayed for my husband.  How selfish can a person be to withhold such a thing from their beloved?!

My husband has demonstrated his unwavering love for me in so many ways over the years.  He, I know for a fact, has prayed for me on countless occasions.  He sacrificed so much time with me while I worked full-time and schooled for two degrees.  He is doing more of the same even now for another degree.  He is here with me on this military adventure, supporting me in long work hours and stressful challenges.  He represents our family proudly as an ambassador of Godly love and neighborly-ness (I probably made up this word, but my husband made up the action!).  He sacrificed his F150 to get me a minivan…and he will be getting a new F150 soon because only a real man would do such a thing!  He is an amazing cook and baker and everyone benefits from that!

He is my best friend on earth.  He is my confidant, my partner, my mentor, my sounding board, my inspiration. 

I have a lot of time to make up for in prayer for my husband.  He makes me laugh, too, and he will likely give me a hard time about this prayer thing, saying sarcastically how great it is to find out like this that I have not prayed for him.  To which, I will respond:

Happy Valentines Day from the worst wife ever!