Author: Sanya Bird

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Goodbyes from Years Ago

The more bases I am stationed at, the more plaques and framed tributes I amass on my office walls.  It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside to be surrounded by the memoirs of my history in the Air Force.  Feeling especially worn today by the seemingly monumental task of taking the next few months to pass the torch of my duties in preparation for moving on to yet another assignment, I stopped on my way out of my office to read the things that were written on my going away gift from the previous base.  “Thanks for all your hard work”, “You will be missed”, “Keep in touch” are written by various hands around the picture in the center.  Those were heartwarming, but the best messages were “You presently sing off key, so work on that at your next base”, “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know how to properly peel a banana”, and “I will miss you the most out of everyone–don’t even test me”.  There was one sentiment that the person didn’t even sign their name to, so I don’t even know who wished me “much luck in the faraway land of Turkey”.

I starred up at that frame until I had read every message.  Oddly enough, it made me a little nostalgic about my current location.  People come and go.  The landscape completely changes every couple of months and work goes on.  Work just.  Goes.  On. 

It’s not about the work anyway.  It’s about the people.  It’s about that guy who talks to inanimate objects like he is going to convince them to do something.  It’s about that lady who always seems to want to ask you a question right when you are in the middle of something.  How about that girl with the squeaky boot that provides the signature announcement of her arrival?  Or how about that guy who goes way overboard with the holiday decorations in the office? 

As I finally turned off the light and left my office, I felt a bit more relaxed and less weighed down.  In a few months, I’m going to acquire another going away gift.  People here will ink their goodbyes on it and I will display it in my new office.  In a few years, when I stop to read what was written on it, I won’t remember all of the work I did.  I will remember the people, and I will feel amazing.

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Fire Fighters and Fire Marshals

Sometimes the fires ignite and we have to be ready to put them out.  Our days can actually get quite consumed by fires.  Just when we stamp one out, another one crops up, and before we know it, the day draws to a close and we feel we have virtually nothing to show for it.  Increasingly, people in all industries are consumed with burdens, fabricated out of misguided perceptions, burnout, and unrealistic expectations.  Because of this, people face the fires at a deficit.  When the fires ignite, it becomes increasingly more difficult to keep up.

Long before a fire ignites, the fire marshals survey the area.  They learn the layout and identify where everything is.  They ask questions to understand why things are the way they are.  They plan.  They create guidelines and make signs to warn against potential fire conditions.  When fire marshals do their part, fires can be less frequent and more manageable.  The investment in marshalling is worth the payoff.

Every industry needs good fire marshals. 

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CCSH

Many Americans are likely familiar with Patient-Centered Medical Home, or PCMH.  As the title indicates, it is a concept of operations that should center around the needs of the patient.  The “Medical Home” part describes the doctor’s office as the “base of operations”.  Home is the place where someone feels the most comfortable, the most accepted, the most in control.  Home is where you hang your hat and get your rest to recharge, enabling you to face challenges out there.  Home is where the people are who care for you the most.  Think about your doctor’s office as your home for healthcare, and now you get it: Patient-Centered Medical Home…

This inspired a thought.  How about another “home” concept: Christ-Centered Spiritual Home–CCSH.  It is a place of existence where it’s all about Christ…all about what Christ wants and what benefits Him.  To the best of my knowledge, that would be praise, honor, glory, and fellowship.  A Spiritual Home would be one where God lives.  The welcome mat is always out, the kitchen always smells of freshly-made food, free for all, and He is ready to invite you in for a warm and entertaining conversation.  (He has quite the sense of humor and is the most amazing and intelligent being I know!)  Please note: You don’t have to pay any insurance premiums to belong to CCSH…it was already paid in full, and bonus–He wants you to come home.

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Groundhog Day

I’m a certified expert.  I am the Queen.  I could write a book and tour the world giving seminars.  What is my craft, you may wonder?  It is the skill of starting over.

I have had to start over many times for many different reasons…failed relationships, falling off the exercise wagon, picking bad habits back up, allowing myself to get enticed by the promise of instant gratification only to hit a wall and end up having to, you guessed it, start over.

People who are really good at starting things are usually the same people lauded for coming up with great ideas, full of enthusiasm for getting started, but having no real plan for progress and certainly not sustainability.  Starting over people are good at starting over.  However, starting over people are worth having around.  How do you help them continue after starting over with the ever elusive follow-through?  Because I’ll be the first to tell you, this starting over diva is ready to get out of Groundhog Day and move on to day 2 and beyond.

I’ve been married going on 11 years.   I have a few college degrees.  One of my three children is an adult.  I have served in the military in some capacity for nearly 13 years.  I believe I have demonstrated follow-through in my life.  I think the key to getting the start-over types to move on to the follow-through is to ask them to share with you examples of things in their lives that they have done for a prolonged period of time.  Help them prove to themselves it is possible, specifically for them.

After that, hitch your wagon to their “start stuff enthusiasm” and navigate them toward the follow-through roadway.  Yes, there will be obstacles, detours, and traffic lights.  Yes, the direction may need to change altogether, taking the team to a completely different destination, but the course corrections will not constitute a starting over.  But if you need to begin again, give me a call…I’ll walk you through it.

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I Once Idealized Perfectionism

Perfectionism was once a friend of mine…or so I thought.  Actually, it was more like the rich Uncle you pretend to love to stay in his good graces to garner that graduation card with the wad of cash tucked inside.  And, like that “perfect” relationship, it was a lot of work for virtually no payoff.  Perfection is such a joke. 

My wake up call was when, for the third time, I had a letter I was attempting to send up to the big boss’s office to get a signature, and it was sent back to me “for corrections”.  No, the corrections were not on the letter requiring the signature, but rather for the routing slip that I just couldn’t get the margins lined up and I forgot a period on a sentence and a slash or dash somewhere else.  Without getting into mundane detail, the consequences of the delay in signature had a profound effect on someone’s freedom to leave the base that weekend. 

After this incident, I started looking at times in my own life where I had expected perfection, only to be sorely disappointed.  There were lots of times to choose from, times where I expected perfection from my coworkers, my friends, myself…even my own children.  I confess to you now that the revelation of how ridiculous perfection is for any mortal to expect is humbling.  And I will tell you something amazing…humility is a warm, cozy blanket compared to the cold harshness of perfectionism.

I’ve come to believe that the expectation of perfection is a veil that cowards hide behind to disguise their insecurities and ignorance.  They boast this impossibly high standard to appear as if they are convinced that anything less is unacceptable.  Interestingly enough, they grovel in misery over their own perceived inadequacies because they themselves cannot achieve the perfection they impose on everyone else.  What a sorrowful existence is theirs.  I should know.

Why is “good enough” construed as “barely enough”?  I think it’s because too many people are caught up in this ideal that perfection is an acceptable standard.  Well, I, for one, am quitting perfectionism cold turkey.  It doesn’t mean I will quit having standards altogether, but the best that I or anyone else can do is going to be good enough, and a standard I can accept.