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Opportunity Looks Like Work

In September 2016, I stepped on the scale.  After about the third time, I actually looked at what it said.  178 pounds.  I’m only 5’2″, and the last time I carried a human being in my body was almost 9 years ago.  I have a job that requires a decent level of physical fitness.  I guess I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten because I stopped looking at myself in the mirror at some point. 

Being overweight in the military is the equivalent of having leprosy…No one wants to associate with you because it doesn’t matter how nice, how smart, or how amazing you are at doing your job…you are damaged.  You cannot be an outstanding military member, all else being absolutely stellar when you are overweight and struggle with physical fitness.  (And anyone who argues with me on this point has probably not been overweight in the military.)  Countless military members are provided their walking papers because of physical fitness/weight related issues.  And on the other side of the coin, physically fit military members who are less capable of doing their jobs get to stay.  I’m not saying that all military members are either fit and dumb or fat and smart, nope, not selling that line at all, so keep your panties unbunched!

Back to my story.  I purchased this book called, “Lose it now, lose it forever”.  There was nothing particularly revolutionary within the pages of this book, but it was the right thing to finally flip a switch in my brain.  First of all, I figured out that I had actually been lying to myself that I was doing everything I could to try to lose weight.  I made some serious changes in my food intake, both what I ate and how much.  Second, I stepped up my exercise…seriously stepped it up.  EVERYTHING that keeps you from moving is an excuse.  I walked on a video game controller and tore my plantar fascia…that put me back a few days, but since I couldn’t run, I walked…got on the elliptical…did squats, crunches, anything…arm circles, for crying out loud!  Whenever I finish my workout, I always shout out, “Good job, Mama, good job!”  For some reason, it gives me a mental boost. 

I have lost 25 pounds so far since mid-September, and I’m about halfway to my goal weight.  It has been and will continue to be work.  It has been and will continue to be sacrifice.  I am committing myself to take advantage of this opportunity to be who I want to be.  I have been the only one in my way.  I have said things like, “Well, I can lose some weight, but I’m never going to have 6-pack abs…I love to run, but I’m not built for running, so I won’t ever be very fast…I can do better on my PT test, but I’ll probably never score over 90…”  To myself, I now say, “Just watch me.”

  

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Wooden Plaques

There have been times when it all gets to be too much…work, school, family, the house, health, and all of those little rocks that weave themselves in between all of that.  Recently, I had one of those times of over saturation.

I had just walked into my office and was standing there in front of my desk.  Everything that had piled itself on me was suddenly and mysteriously muted by the hum of my tower fan.  My feet felt like they were stuck to the floor.  I took a deep breath as I looked around the room.  All of those inanimate objects just sitting there, quietly and peacefully living out their purpose.  I never thought I could be jealous of a wooden plaque.

As much as I wanted to spend a significant amount of time as a statue in the middle of my office instead of a human being, I snapped out of it and carried on.  I spent the weekend working on the beginnings of a new approach…at least to the work and health rocks.  Making a few small, but significant changes has proven to make things more manageable.

I am working it out, bravely serving a greater purpose than an inanimate object on a shelf.  I don’t have to be jealous of wooden plaques, but I can borrow a page from their playbook and stop, turn down the volume of the chaos, and just be for a little while.

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I Love You…Now Go Away

This morning, a coworker poked their head into my office about three minutes after I had walked in, turned my light on, and put my hat up on the shelf, and shrugged off my backpack.  He cheerfully announced, “Good morning to you!” Ugh.  I cannot politely explain what immediately went through my mind.  Suffice it to say, there were unpleasant words and a borderline violent response locked away up inside my brain.  The turmoil flowing through my incarcerated mind reached a toxic danger level when my facial expression prompted the “case of the Mondays” comment.

I am spoiled to have a short commute to work, or some may think.  It is about 10 to 15 minutes.  However, it is barely enough time to get ready for the onslaught of cheer when I walk in the office. It’s not that I am not a morning person.  It’s not that I am anti-social.  And honestly, I think people who are around me all day would consider me to be generally quite pleasant.  I am an introvert.  I recharge in those coveted moments of solitude. 

This world is run by extroverts.  They step out in front, steeling their wool by engaging in social interactions.  Their batteries are hooked up to an alternator.  The more they exert energy in social settings, the more energized they become.  This is why they run the world…renewable energy. 

The world is managed by introverts.  We clear the paths for the extroverts and tidy up afterward.  We ensure the foundations are solid and the sound system works.  We gently influence the conversation with our subtle, yet confident and compassionate input. After doing our part, we require solitude to recharge and prepare for the next big thing.

In spite of my response to by bubbly coworker, I am not a hateful troll.  I am simply one who draws strength from the quiet, uninterrupted moments where I find clarity, focus, and can plan greatness for my extrovert friends to run with.

Next month, I will be driving a few hundred miles to attend training.  Armed with my GPS, pillow from home, and satellite radio, I am looking forward to those hours of recharging…and the epic concert that I have an exclusive on-stage pass to in my vehicle.

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The Reserve Tank

We all possess some sort of power… even we B-types.  In a leadership position, it is inherent to have positional power.  You are the boss and you make decisions and can tell people what to do.  But I invite you to consider that type of power as basically worthless if no one is following you. 

I advise anyone who will listen to this humble, yet experienced junior Captain that the primary focus of assuming the leadership role is getting to know the people on your team.  What motivates them?  What is their communication style?  What interests them in life?  What do they come to work and do every day?  Do they like cupcakes or pulled pork?  Taking a genuine interest in your teammates and connecting with them matters more than anything when the relationship begins.  Chances are quite high that they are already proficient at their respective jobs and are getting the work done, so let them do their jobs and focus on getting acquainted.

Speaking of everyone’s contribution at work… find out what the individuals on your team contribute to the overall mission.  You don’t have to learn how to do their job.  You just need to understand (and make sure they know) how what they do plays into the big picture.  Go ahead and set the stage for a healthy work environment!

Be willing and able to say this to your team: “My role here is to make sure you have what you need to do your job, whether that be resources, space, policies, or what have you.  If I am taking care of you, my own career will work itself out.  I can’t demand respect… that is something each individual determines to whom respect is worthy.  But I can demand professionalism.  Any expectations I have of you, I will, in turn, deliver, respectfully, to you.”  Then, immediately thereafter, consistently demonstrate proof of the words you spoke!

This is all indicative of influential power.  You will be followed by people who choose to follow because they believe in what you claim to stand for and trust that you will deliver what you promised.  I took on leadership with a team at work that had 9 different flight commanders in 4 years, through a series of unfortunate events beyond anyone’s control.  When I told my new team the words I stated above, I had 12 faces all looking back at me, conveying the message, “Yeah, we’ll believe it when we see it, and we don’t expect to see it.”. After a few months, they recognized that I meant what I said and was living it out.  Morale is good, and I feel very blessed to work with these amazing individuals.

I do also have positional power.  At the end of the day, I have the authority to make the decisions that affect the entire team.  I am careful to wield that power purposefully.  To be blunt, nothing is more wrong than ordering something to be done because you’re the boss and that’s what you want.  I personally have no respect for anyone who leads that way.  Positional power should be in the reserve
tank.  It is fuel, just the same as the fuel in the primary tank, where influential power should be, but the goal should be to never have to use it!

Leaders, listen to your team, connect with them and understand them.  The investment will pay in spades as you lead your committed followers to success.

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More Than a Woman

To be perfectly honest, I have never really felt ultra feminine.  I don’t wear much make-up, never wear dresses, don’t even own heels, and feel like I am suffocating if my nails get too long.  I prefer having long hair, but only because I can put it in a ponytail and forget about it.  I used to have pierced ears, but they closed up from lack of use.  I only wear a watch because it is functional.  The only jewelry I wear is my wedding ring.  Three babies have incubated in this body, and I am completely satisfied with that.

So, when I was faced with the decision to tear down the baby factory due to some faulty interior structure issues, I wasn’t exactly devastated.  I was ready to feel better.  I underwent a hysterectomy the day before Thanksgiving.  I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital.  The nursing staff who worked on Thanksgiving day and took care of me and the other ladies on the OB/GYN floor were truly angelic.  I will be sending them thank you cards to try to express how much their care meant to me.  The doctor filling in doing rounds for my surgeon was quite a bit less angelic having to work on Thanksgiving.  My only question for him is, “who do you think wanted to leave the hospital worse than the other, doctor, or patient?” 

I am now on house arrest in my recovery nest.  It is much better than being stuck in the hospital, for sure.  I did the dishes today… big mistake.  But it was a mistake I had to make in order to actually appreciate the advice I was given to “take it easy”. 

Although I have never been ultra feminine, I am still a woman.  And, no matter how many female parts they ever end up removing, I will always be a woman.  I am not concerned about feeling less.  My concern is much more centered on my return to humanity.  I want to be a runner again, an Airman again, a domestic goddess again, a vehicle for whatever God chooses. 

No matter what I end up with or without in this physical body at the end of its journey through life, my spirit is whole, intact, complete, and redeemed.  I am my spirit and I have a body.  I am more than a woman, I am a child of the One True King.