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Never Wanted to See This Person Again

There was a lady I knew a while back.  We weren’t really friends, per se, but we knew each other very well.  We parted ways this past February, and I was really relived.  She was a real drag…a boat anchor around my neck…uninspired, lacking confidence, and kind of miserable.  We had the same name.  In fact, we were the same person. 

I started running on a regular basis at about that time in my life.  Three short months later, that lady was already becoming a distant memory.  In May, I met this new lady, also sharing my name.  She was energized, determined, and was dangerously close to needing a new wardrobe to fit her smaller frame.  We hung out every day, logging in miles on the track from February to July.  Then she left me.

I don’t know what happened.  I didn’t even get a text, a note, a phone call, or even a talk through the mirror.  I got so sad.  Food comforted me.  Fistfuls of chips, a couple mini donuts, frozen custard, pizza, and even the healthy stuff in excessive amounts…was so comforting as I kept telling myself, “It’s only a little here…”, “It’s only a little there…”.  The sinking feeling I had and the guilt I was crushed under was hardly for the comfort.  Then the weight came back…

That lady I knew back before February is back in my life, haunting me day and night.  She is horrible to have around.  Such a drag.

I am still running lots of 5k’s and will run the half marathon early October, but I don’t feel healthy like I used to. 

Something I realized recently, thanks to the Holy Spirit, was that I realized the one thing I have never truly given to the Lord in prayer is my physical health and fitness.  It was like I thought that was the only thing that I had to do myself.  (What a silly deduction!) 

Today, I am giving the Lord my physical well-being.  Why would it not be obvious to me that I could not lose the weight and keep it off without God’s help?  Why would I ever believe I did not need faith to succeed in this area of my life? 

Today, I commit to do this thing as unto the Lord.  He asks that we do EVERYTHING as unto Him.  I suppose if I were Capt Obvious and not Capt Bird, I would have deduced that that meant my physical fitness as well. 

Join me, because I really can’t do this alone, and I will not succeed without being lifted up in prayer.  If you are going through something similar, I would love to join with you for motivation and encouragement.  I am so ready!  Are you?

Here is my plan:
Weigh-in: Fridays at 8pm
Weigh loss goal: -30 pounds
15 Weeks/December 31, 2015 checkpoint
Breakfast and lunch: Herbalife shakes, healthy snacks, 80oz of water per day

Sunday: Rest
Monday: Run 2 miles
Tuesday: AF squadron PT
Wednesday: Strength training
Thursday: Run 4 miles
Friday: Strength training
Saturday: Run 4 miles
10 miles per week (or more)

This is not going to be complicated.  It will simply take commitment and self-motivation.  I’m ready to get going.

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I am Vanilla

Things that have no color, texture, depth, or liveliness are sometimes considered to be “vanilla”.  Vanilla is ‘blah’.  It is unexciting, uninteresting, and anything but noteworthy.  It fades into oblivion in the company of oh, anything else at all.  It is a moot flavor in the presence of even slightly more bold flavors.  It could be argued that vanilla is pretty insignificant in this vibrant world.

But consider vanilla in a different light.  It can awaken the palate, serving as a ground note, even when it’s not discernible in the flavor profile. Vanilla brings other flavors together, moderating stronger flavors.  It is the great harmonizer of flavors.  It can work with just about every type of flavor in the spectrum…sweet, salty, savory. 

Vanilla is adaptable.  It doesn’t take the spotlight, but it supports and shines a light on all of the other flavors.  Vanilla is more noticeable when it is missing.  Vanilla is not perfect or “poor, put upon”, though, so don’t view vanilla as a martyr or an angel.  If cooked too hot for too long, vanilla can get bitter and lose its effectiveness as the great harmonizing ingredient.

So, please appreciate vanilla for its reliable, comforting, cohesive properties, and vanilla will consistently deliver its talents to whatever recipe it is added to…be sure of that!

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Letting the Stallions Run

I had the privilege of working for a leader whose philosophy was, “Let the stallions run, and let everyone else follow them.”  It was a refreshing shocker to me.  I had never before, nor have I since, worked for someone with that amazingly liberating approach to leadership.  This philosophy made ponies want to be stallions.  More than that, he told those in his charge, “If you’re a stallion, stop by my office and introduce yourself.”  It was an invitation to be bold and identify yourself as an individual with a vision, focus, and direction.  This leader’s favorite word was, “Awesome!”  He was southern folk, so imagine how “Aouw-sum!” things were when he was around. 

This kind of leadership inspired the best efforts anyone could hope to contribute.  It got us all through times when things weren’t so awesome because of the hope generated by an approach with the right attitude to challenges that came our way. 

That experience feels a little like Camelot now…the “good ol’ days” that I may never get to live again.  It’s okay, though, because I did get to experience it once.  I can relive it by being the type of leader who lets the stallions run.

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In a World Where Everyone is Like Me

All of those personality tests tell me what I already knew…I thrive with order in my world; time with others must be significantly less than time to myself; I am not a fan of confrontation; I think practically and avoid making emotionally-based decisions like the plague; planning is an anchor in my life both professionally and personally.  I am studious (no, really?).  If I am not learning something, I am obviously wasting my free time.  Then, there’s the real vices: I have a little superiority complex and can come across as arrogant to others…I really have no patience when it comes to situations where things are not in order and/or disorganized.  I know God has a sense of humor, because He has blessed me with a family that sometimes makes it their mission to ensure I practice patience when things are chaos.

“They” say, “It takes all kinds.”  However, if the world were filled with people just like me, this is what I envision would be the result:

–Bookstores (particularly Bible bookstores) would be the largest, most successful industry on the planet, followed by Amazon, Starbucks and the Apple store.

–There would be no need for speed limits because no one would drive anywhere close to a dangerous speed.

–All locations boasting hot, humid summers would be completely uninhabited…we’re talking like the Rapture came and took every last person away.

–Horror movies…what are those?  They would not exist.

–There would never be work-sponsored Christmas parties with any kind of theme where women had to wear gowns unless they really wanted to…and there would be many more ugly sweater-themed parties.

–No beer…only wine.

–High heels would not exist.  They shouldn’t exist now…what pointless forms of foot cover!

–The only fighting in the world would be when they cancel really good shows on TV.

–The work day would start no earlier than 8am. 

–Everyone would move every couple 2-5 years.  It lends itself to adventure, variety, culture, and a departure from monotony and stagnation.

I suppose it really does take all kinds, because even if you can tolerate me and how I am, it’s not a life that everyone would embrace as their own!  Besides, I like you just how you are.

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I Ended Up Doing It a Better Way

And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain. 

I have been in Turkey for two years now.  This has been an experience I could neither compare to anything else I have ever experienced, nor amply describe to anyone who has never been here.  Even those who have come before (and those who will come after) will have a different experience to draw from.  My experience is unique in location and time.

I can tell you of all the things I look forward to in returning to the states in a few weeks…mostly those first world luxuries that everyone in the U.S. take for granted.  But I will miss many things here.  Primarily, I will miss the people I work with, both Turkish and American.  My colleagues have truly been my family here.  I have appreciated every second of support and encouragement they have all offered. 

It is no secret that my first year here was a nail-biter.  I came here already burned out and struggled with finding my way right out of the gate.  It is also no secret that the recovery road was long.  Everyone who was here then is gone now, and you would be hard-pressed to find anyone here now who would believe it was that bad.  Thank the Lord for healing my mind.

Although I am no longer as emotional as I used to be, I still care very deeply for my coworkers, the military medical mission, and I am very passionate about my contribution.  My hope for the future is that I will not get complacent while in the U.S. and that I will continue to build on what my experience here in Turkey has taught me.  When my husband and I were talking about going overseas, we both said, “anywhere but Turkey!”  But God knew what He was doing to bring me here, and I wouldn’t change having this assignment for anything!