Tag: Leader

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Kindness Matters

When I was a little girl, my favorite super hero was Wonder Woman (the Linda Carter version). I had long, dark hair like hers and just knew I could become Wonder Woman if I twirled fast enough…once I was allowed to wear a strapless outfit.  I think what appealed to me most about her was how she only fought when it was absolutely necessary and her super powers were not aggressive in nature.  I consider myself to be a Wonder Woman today.  I often wonder where I put something or what meeting I’m supposed to be at.

What traits lead to good leadership?  What are the super powers of leaders?  When asked this question, people might say “strength” or “grit” or “toughness” or “determination”.  What about “kindness”?  Kindness doesn’t usually make the list.  Kindness is more often associated with weakness or softness.  I want to submit to you today that kindness IS an element of strong leadership, and intentional kindness is an element of even stronger leadership.  

Kindness is being friendly, generous, or considerate without the expectation of receiving something in return.  It demonstrates that you care about your fellow human.  INTENTIONAL kindness demonstrates not only that you are seeing to it that someone is cared for, but that you genuinely care ABOUT them (their well-being, their success, their value).  

Mark Twain said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”  Kindness helps people to feel visible.  Kindness is calming and healing.  It has been scientifically proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, increase self-esteem, improve mood…for both the giver AND the recipient!

Kindness invites TRUST.  This is a priceless relational element for a leader to create synergy with their team.  Kindness affords a leader the ability to keep the communication doors open so both leader and follower can gain understanding and exercise empathy as kindness inspires kindness.

It’s not just a tag line: Kindness really does matter.  It is significant, and a leader should be committed to intentional acts of kindness. 

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Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

Sometimes, in spite of all of your amazing feats of resiliency after getting knocked in the dirt, you don’t get to carry home the Comeback Kid trophy. Sometimes, you just can’t win.

I want to be sure to give myself plenty of credit. I have won many days and many battles. I have been knocked in the dirt, kicked when I was down, and spat in the face. I have picked myself up and continued to move forward. I survived, then I thrived. I helped others out of pits. I taught others how to thrive. I brought teams together and helped connect military healthcare with community partners and Veterans Affairs.

I had a good run, and I have no regrets. I am proud of myself and my service. There are some things I am looking forward to once I become a civilian again:

  • Being able to wear colorful fingernail polish
  • Being able to wear my hair in any configuration I want
  • Being able to carry any color backpack
  • Being able to wear any color and style earrings I want
  • Being able to talk politics at work
  • Being able to invite people at work to church
  • Calling people by their first name
  • Saying “yeah” or “okay” in place of “yes, sir/ma’am”
  • Not being on a recall roster, deployment team, or response team
  • Getting to take vacation and go wherever I want and not have to take leave on weekend days
  • No PT test for “job security”
  • Not having to wear a hat outside unless I want to
  • Being able to use one of those clear umbrellas that you can see through so you can keep it low down to you
  • No more “additional duties”

My military career is drawing to a close, but my life is taking off! I am far from finished helping teams do amazing things and teaching people to lead with excellence. I am still writing my book. I have worked as a civilian before, and as I return to civilian life, I bring with me the sum of my experiences. I am a survivor. I am a leader. I will thrive and lift others to higher heights because it matters. I am FAR from finished.

Sometimes, you think you’ve lost when it is not even close to over. Take a deep breath. Keep getting back up when you’re knocked down. Breathe. Accept the moment as is. Breathe. Talk to God and then LISTEN. Breathe. Start to gather yourself and build a game plan. Cry a little (or a lot) if you need to. Another nice, deep, cleansing breath, my friend…and then start to move. Move forward…it’s going to work out. We will win. Winning might not look like we imagined it would, but it will still be amazing!