I have watched countless videos on how to apply makeup. The good ones end up looking like they are ready for a modeling photo shoot when they are finished. I get up every weekday morning and get ready for work, thinking that I am applying my makeup just right because I have watched so many of those makeup tutorials.
So, today is Thanksgiving, and I got up and got ready to go join the family for the festivities. I did my hair and applied my makeup and put on what I thought was a nice, yet sufficiently casual outfit. Then, I gave myself the once over in the mirror…first mistake of the day. I took notice of the recently acquired double chin, the deep wrinkles under my eyes, the halo of grey, frizzy hairs that refused to be a part of what I was trying to get the rest of my hair to do, and the largest belly I have ever had aside from the three times I was 9 months pregnant years ago. I told my husband that I have finally come to a place where I feel my age.
Things did not improve later in the day. I insisted we take pictures with all my kids and my grandbaby because it is a rarity to have us all together nowadays and I wanted to capture this precious moment. Yes, I do have a beautiful family, but I looked at the photos and felt I looked like the out-of-place super old and overweight neighbor who decided to jump in on someone’s family pictorial. For the past two plus years, I have been kind of proud to finally be able to show off my natural grey hair, and today was the first day I considered coloring it again.
It is so easy to be kind and accepting of others. Why is it so difficult to be kind to ourselves?? All I hear (in my mind) are the statements enshrouded in negativity, saying, “you are so old and worn and fat”, “you are annoying”, “you are so socially awkward that everyone is going to think you are conceited and standoffish”, “no one wants to waste their time talking to you”.
Have you ever known exactly what to think, say, and do, but it just isn’t how you think, say, and do sometimes? Me, too. First of all, there is nothing more annoying to a person in this condition than the person who tells you what you should be doing at that time. (Shout out to those people…you know who you are!).
If you find yourself going down the rabbit hole like I did today, I want to share with you what is helping me crawl out the other side of it, relatively unscathed:
- Have your funny five minutes. Feel your feels. Think about all of the things that aren’t great or perfect or even slightly better than okay.
- Begin to switch gears. Think about WHY those things feel sub-par. Feeling badly about how you look? Is it because of the extra pounds you packed on or an unflattering hairstyle?
- Get realistic. Think about the things you can control and decide which of those things you will control.
- Forgive yourself. Say out loud, “Self, I forgive you for being so critical of me.”
- Be kind to yourself. Say out loud, “Self, thank you for forgiving me. I love myself and I will prove it by being kind. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator, and that makes me beautiful!”
These steps do not need to occur quickly, but you do need to make sure you get to kindness. And whatever you do, if you don’t already have bangs, DON’T get bangs.